Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique Review

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Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique ReviewAs a folklorist and someone involved in alternative relationships, I looked with great interest upon this book, espescially since I am very interested in the current scholarly examination of the primarily het-white-wealthy wedding (and the current Third Wave feminism's dubious obsession with weddings.) Overall, the book provided a great deal of food for thought, espescially upon examination of the current wedding narrative that each (het/white/wealthy) couple fulfills; ie, that they are kooky and delightful, which makes their marriage even more darling--a story that is played to by manufacturers, retailers and the wedding industry.I also admire how Geller elegantly deconstructs the overstuffed, high-priced personalized wedding and the process of creating a het-white-patriarchal fantasia white wedding. However, Geller slips into a very vitriolic, classist tone, espescially when describing lower-class women and weddings, who I would think would be the primary dupes of the wedding frenzy. This really turns an innovative and important work into something that is at times very difficult to read, even from a sympathetic audience member. Likewise, as a former graduate student, I find her graduate school pastorale to ring just as false as wedding magazine promises of castles, fairytales and buttercream icing.I was also disturbed that there seemed to be no room in reexamining weddings for examining any type of romantic relationship. I would have also liked to see what happens when groups that do not normally get the white wedding veneer of privilige appropriate the traditions and tweak the proverbial nose of the white wedding.(It's this anger and classism that keeps me from giving the book 5 stars; the ideas are strong enough for 5, but the execution only leaves it at 3) Still, I suppose the great success of this book is that its ideas do linger and provide interesting context and thought long after the book is closed. I do, however, wish that Geller had toned down her anger--it detracts from a book that with a bit more editing would have been a masterpiece on par with Jessica Mitford's _The American Way of Death_ and severely limits the audience to an academic one when the ideas really should be further disseminated. My hope is that Geller keeps writing and is able to balance her ideas and her style and keeps writing--perhaps her next book will be able to build on this foundation.Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique Overview

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